Greg's Wife

The End

2010-01-19T11:59:00.001-06:00

This is the end of this blog, but a new one is coming! I'm rolling Gabe's Mom, Greg's Wife, and Wish I Might into one! For those of you who follow along, when the new blog is up and running, I'll make one final post with the new address. And, for all my facebook friends, I'll send you a link! It's just too hard to manage 2 blogs and a website... I am still in the planning stages, but when I'm done, I think my life will be much more simple!!

For Good

2009-08-06T12:04:00.003-05:00

I am very awestruck today. God is good. Let me just say that first of all.

A couple of months ago, I read about an organization called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Its a nonprofit organization that volunteers the services of photographers to parents that have lost a child to stillbirth, or may be losing a child shortly after birth. The photographer donates their time, services, and a DVD of images to the family so they have a keepsake for those precious, tender moments after the baby is born. Local hospitals call the photographers at the request of the parents.

I thought about this for a while and really felt a need to participate in it. But, I was afraid to put myself and my work out there for criticism, since your work needs to be evaluated first (and rightly so). This is such a meaningful moment for the parents, you want to be sure you're able to give them quality images. So, finally, after it was pressing on me for a while, I registered and submitted my website. This was about 2 weeks ago. I then emailed my very closest friends and family and asked them to pray for me... would this be something God could use?

I knew that God would use our experience for good in some way... I just didn't know how. For Good. For Good. That keeps resonating in my head. I think this is it. I don't think I'd have been approved if God wasn't going to use it in some way.

I'm scared. I'm honored. I'm humbled. I'm hopeful that I can do it - emotionally and quality wise. I want to pray before each session that God will use me - for good. That He will bless these parents with something they can hold on to once their child is gone. I wish I had something like that. But, with our daughter it wasn't possible.

So, friends and readers, if you think of it, pray for me that God can use me For Good.

Working on it.

2009-06-14T20:39:00.008-05:00

So, I'm gaining a little bit of confidence... I'm working on it anyway! I just took these pictures of twin 5 year olds and I sent the album to their parents. Later that night, I had a voicemail from their mom and she was thrilled with them. It was such a good feeling to know that they liked them. I'm really trying to live by my previous post and just consider my pictures good if I like them. Because you know what? No matter how good I get (and I realize I still have SO much to learn), I'm never going to be able to please everyone. It's impossible!

So, the point of this post is that I'm feeling like I can be confident without being pretentious. I used to worry (there's that worry again for ya!) that if I was confident in my abilities that I would come across as pretentious. But, I'm learning that you can feel good about what you do, graciously accept compliments and criticism and it's cool!

This may not seem like much, but this is a huge step for me. I feel so great about this new "revelation".

And, my BFF, Tami, and her daughter, Whitney, were over last night and told me I needed to create a Facebook group for Wish I Might Photography. Whitney said, "Dude, I'll create one if you won't!" So, I did. And, I already have 13 members. Pretty cool.

I need you

2009-06-13T07:02:00.002-05:00

Can I ask you blog readers for some prayer? I wish I could share the specific situation with you, but I can't. Let me tell you that it involves a person that I love who is losing a baby. Please just ask God to be with them today and to hold them in His almighty, loving, faithful hands. She needs Him today. I wish I could find a video of this song, but the best I could do was find the lyrics. The song is beautiful.

I Need You - The Swift

My heart is restless in me
My wings are all worn out
I’m walking in the wilderness
And I cannot get out

I need You, oh I need You
Blessed savior come
I need You, oh I need You
Fill the every longing of my soul

Oh how I need You Lord
I need Your perfect word
With tearful eyes I see the sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed you just today

And my bed is soaked with sadness
My sadness has no end
A downward spiral of despair that I keep falling in
I need You, oh I need You
To You my soul shall fly
I need You, oh I need You
Yahweh how I love you more than life

Oh how I need You Lord
I need Your perfect word
With tearful eyes I see the sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray for all the thousand ways
That I have failed you just today

Your silence is like death to me
So won’t You hear my desperate plea

Today my soul is soaring
Way over mountains high
Though I can see the valleys
They are all just passing by
Its not that I am stronger
Look at my feeble wings
But I’ve been lifted higher
Yahweh’s lifted me in His own strength

Oh how I love You Lord
I love your perfect word
With tearful eyes I see the God who always will endure
Now I will celebrate
For all the thousand ways
That you have shown me grace and made my heart in grace to stay
You made my heart in grace to stay
Lord, make my heart in grace to stay
I need You, oh I need You

feeling

2009-06-11T23:13:00.002-05:00

I've been down in the dumps lately.

Ok, so this is probably going to be a "downer" post. But, I think I owe a little explanation as to why I haven't been on for a bit. I should start by saying that I'm a people pleaser. I really dislike this quality about myself. For some, being firm, saying what you think, and being confident comes naturally to them. For me, not the case.

I spend so much time trying to please others and avoid confrontation. In trying to please other people, I end up disappointing myself and realizing that no matter how hard I try, I'm never going to please everyone. I know what you're thinking... it sounds so silly. So ridiculous. To think that I need to make everyone else happy. But, honestly, I can't help it. That's the way I'm built.

I think in my old age, (I'll be 30 in September!!) I'm learning that it's just too tiring. It's too much. I can't please everyone, and I think I'm going to stop trying. No more reading intimidating blogs that I think I need to live up to. No more worrying about my photography - in fact, I'm going to take pictures to the best of my ability and if I love them, I'll consider them good. And, no more worrying that every thing I do is the wrong thing. That's what we have prayer for. We have a God we can go to - completely UNperfect, completely vulnerable, and say, "Here God. This is what I've got. This is who I am. YOU made me and YOU love me."

It's such a waste of such valuable time to try and please everyone. Now, does that mean I just don't care anymore? No. This means that instead of worrying about what everyone else thinks, I'm going to make decisions based on what God wants me to do. And, if I just don't know what that is, I'm going to pray until I find out. This also means that I'm going to love those wonderful people in my life -the people whose opinion really matters to me- to the fullest. I'm going concentrate not on what I don't know, but what I do know. I'm going to set some small goals in my photography business. I'm going to reach those goals and set some higher ones.

As with some of my other posts, I was hesitant to share this. I was afraid of being vulnerable and concerned about what other people thought of me. The real me. But, then again, isn't that what this post is about?

So, here's some stuff about me. The REAL me. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I have gray hair. And, honestly, it doesn't really bother me too much.
I count stairs as I go down them. I've fallen too many times and this helps me concentrate on not missing a step.
I am very proud of my photography. I love that other people love it.
If I could spend $100 on clothes or scrapbooking stuff, I would choose scrapbooking stuff.
I hate exercising and I know I need to do it.
I think owls are adorable. Not the real ones of course, just the cute, trendy ones.
When I get stressed out, I have heart palpitations.
I worry about Gabe all the time.
I sometimes worry about getting close to God because so many of my Christian mentors have had extremely hard lives. Our family's been through so much already, I am so afraid to just trust and let God take care of them... even though I know I have no real control anyway.
I would love to have another child, but worry that it will be too much to handle.
I need to lose weight. I am an emotional eater.
I make my brother and sisters (and Greg) tell me "I will be" when I tell them to be careful. Thinking this will keep them from any harm - again, foolish to think I have any control.
I like the shows American Idol, House, Dateline, and I miss watching Grey's Anatomy.
I love taking Gabe for walks.
I have the most forgiving, generous, faithful, loving husband.
I hope that Gabe talks about me like I talk about my parents.
I hope when I get to Heaven, I'll see my little girl there.
It seems like whenever I look at the clock it's 9:17. Too weird.
I would trust my friend, Tami with anything.
I hate my fat fingers.
I love getting blog comments.
I love getting the mail at the post office. I love the smell... again, weird.
I love to eat saltine crackers in my ice cream.
I always sing in the car. Yeah, you've probably seen me. I don't even care if people see. :)

SO, there you have just some random stuff about me. The real me. The blogger me, the Mommy me, the wifey me, and the friend me.

Diagnosis

2009-04-17T20:41:00.003-05:00

This is a post I wasn't sure I was going to write, but after thinking about it all day, I decided to go ahead and do so. What's the point in hiding and keeping it to myself? It's not really a big deal, other than I finally know what's up with me. I finally know after 8 years of infertility what the deal is. So, here goes... (you might want to grab a cup of coffee...)

I have to start off by saying the doctor I've had for the last seven years is really a good person. A wonderful, compassionate human being. He had wonderful bedside manner. However, diagnostically, he just wasn't helping me. He was perfectly content to let me coast on by and never attempt to fix or put a name to my condition. When I say condition, here are my symptoms:

infertility
annovulation
weight gain
forgetfulness
extreme hypothyroidism
sluggish, constantly fatigued feeling
depression

I went months, then years, trying infertility treatments. Never sure what the real problem was. In my mind, I always thought, "There HAS to be a reason. I was not just born this way". The only time I was ever really given much of a diagnosis was when I was coming out of surgery. I was advised that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. This was the cause of my infertility. I wasn't ever really tested for it. Small cysts were found on my ovaries, but that's pretty much where it was left. I was naive and believed my doctor - that I was just born this way, and that we could take temporary measures to treat my condition.

Well, I got a phone call from my mom not long ago. She was concerned about my health and had delayed telling me that. She didn't want to hurt my feelings. That was the wake up call I needed to change doctors. Believe it or not, this was a hard thing for me to do. I was kind of attached to my doctor. We'd been through a lot. He held my hand as we went back for the D&C after my miscarriage. And, he continued to hold my hand until I fell asleep. But, as much as that meant to me, I knew it was time for a change.

My mother in law had suggested an OBGYN's office a long time ago because she knew one of the ladies who works there. I gave them a call. I was able to get in right away. I see a nurse practitioner and she is wonderful. She spent 45 minutes with me after I had met with the nurse and she explained that with my symptoms, she really believed I have PCOS. So, she scheduled a sonogram and bloodwork to see if we could confirm that. At the sonogram, the tech was fantastic. She explained everything she saw and advised the NP would meet with me afterwards to discuss everything.

Turns out, my ovaries showed little to no sign of PCOS. When the nurse practitioner came in, she said, "Well, I am stumped!" (at my first appointment, I told her I would stump her!). She really thought that my symptoms closely resembled PCOS (I only have 2 or 3 symptoms), but she thought I may also have lupus. For those of you who watch House... It's never lupus.

So, I had my blood drawn for a lupus panel and the NP advised she would talk to the head doctor of the office and see if he had any other ideas of what it could be. That afternoon, I got a call back that he really believed I have Hashimoto's Disease, with a touch of PCOS. The simplest explanation is I have a thyroid autoimmune disease. So, guess how you work with it and treat it? Weightloss. Which is really ironic - weightgain is one of the symptoms. Suck.

So, I should be thankful that I've been diagnosed. I should be thankful that it's not lupus (not 100% sure on that... still awaiting labs, but they really don't think that's what it is).

But honestly, I'm not thankful. I'm pretty depressed actually. I hate that I have trouble with my weight. I hate that because of my condition, it's harder to lose the weight. I hate that I don't like fruit. I hate that I can't eat sweets anymore. I know... I'm being a Debbie Downer. But, this is really hard for me. I feel like I've lost a vice - I've lost a comfort thing.

So, the reason I decided to post this is the same reason I post entries about our miscarriage and infertility. If one person reads this, and it helps them because they know they're not alone, it's worth it. I think I've said before, infertility is a very lonely place. If one person knows that I hate it that I can't have cake just like them, then it's worth it!

So, there you have it... my diagnosis. My life sentence. There's no curing this, so I'd better learn how to live with it. If any of you are pray-ers out there, please pray that I can come to a peace about this and not be so bitter. And, that I learn to love the taste of carrots instead of carrot cake.

My First Quilting Lesson

2009-03-14T22:04:00.007-05:00

Today was a pretty awesome day. My mother in law's childhood friend, Carol, makes beautiful quilts. I have always admired her beautiful work! For a while, we've been talking about putting together a quilting day so Carol could teach us how. I was a little intimidated because to be honest, sometimes I have trouble sewing a straight line! So, Mary (my MIL) volunteered to keep Gabers during the day so my mom, my BFF Tami, & I could have a quilting lesson. It was so much fun. And, it honestly was easier than I thought. It was still challenging, and I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but it was a lot of fun and I can't wait to try making another one! Well, we'll see... I'd love to get some more practice so it was a little more automatic for me.

First, we made three 9 patch squares. I have never made something so precise before! I felt so proud of myself! :) They turned out great.

Next, we cut those squares in half twice, making 4 smaller squares. Then, we turned two of the squares that were diagonal from each other so that the smaller squares in the middle met at the points. I was REALLY scared about cutting my 9 patch!! (Listen to me... I already sound like a quilter!! hehehe)

While we were quilting, Gabe and Abba & PawPaw were playing! It was so cute to go in and peek at them... Gabe was having a blast.

And, there are a lot of steps between this picture and the last step, but I can't remember them all off the top of my head to blog them! But, this is the top to my table runner. I am so thrilled with how it turned out. I didn't think I'd like it this much! I thought for sure I'd make a lot more noticable mistakes, but in just looking at it, the seams match up pretty nicely! We're going to get together for another session to attach the back and the binding, and of course, to quilt it!

By the end of the afternoon, Gabe was tuckered out! He had such a great time with Abba and PawPaw! I am so thankful that I got to do this today. It was truly so much fun and I can't wait to get together to finish them up. I think I'm going to enjoy quilting!!

Breaking Free

2009-03-11T15:19:00.002-05:00

I know, I know... two posts in one week... This is what happens when you're trapped in the house with a sick one! I wanted to share something really quick... I'm going to my first photography workshop!

One of my favorite Flickr photographers is holding a "Break Free" seminar... You can see the details here. Ryan & Holly are awesome photographers. I am so excited that I'll get to meet them and work with them! Plus, as a bonus, Greg and Gabe are going with me! They're going to sightsee and play in the hotel pool while I'm busy soaking up as much knowledge as I can!

I have to admit, even though I am SO super excited about it, I'm pretty nervous too. I mean, they are professionals... they'll be critiquing some of MY photos. They do this full time for a living. And, here I am, wanting to start my own part time business... I like to think that I do have a bit of a knack for it, that I'm just lacking in all of the training. I know that I have so much to learn, but you've gotta start somewhere, right? I do like to read, and I do try to do that in my free time, but I am such a better hands on learner. Show me something once, and let me do it, and I've pretty much got it. I hate it when the doubt creeps in though. I already feel myself saying things like "There's going to be a lot better photographers than you there" or "You don't know enough to go to something like this", or, or, or... If I let those statements get in my way, I'll never take the chance to go to something like this. And, without taking that chance, I'll never learn. Everybody's gotta start somewhere. Who knows, maybe the other photographers will stink big time? :) Nah, I'm just kiddin....

When I suggested this to Greg, I didn't think he'd go for it. In fact, I asked him to sit down so I could ask him if I could go on this trip. I knew it was expensive, and I hated to ask for myself, but dang, I really wanted to go! Greg was immediately supportive and wanted me to do it. Then as we talked about it more, we decided he and Gabe should come too! That way, we could make it a little family vacation. I am so very blessed to have a husband who supports me in this endeavor. He wants me to succeed and that is such a great feeling. Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at all that you have - I have a lot to be thankful for.

BFF's, Top Fives, and Refrigerator Friends

2009-03-08T20:02:00.002-05:00

So, how many of you out there (that is if I have any readers left because I've been such a bad blogger!) have more than one best friend? I understand the concept of good, better, best. However, I don't believe that to be a categorization for people. Sure it works for grades, it works for classifying things, and it works for sports and other contests. But for me, for people, it's not like that. I can't rate my friends based on who I like best.

All of the people I am blessed to have in my life are there for many reasons. All of them mean something different, or something the same to me. Meaning, there are friends I can trust with any secret, any short-coming, any heartache. There are other friends, that I consider best friends not necessarily because I would tell them everything, but because I absolutely love their company. I am blessed by their friendship. Their life totally enriches mine.

I love my friends. Right now, I am at a place in my life where I have more than one best friend. I am fortunate enough to say that I can name 5 people right now that I would drop anything for. That I would be there for in the middle of the night. That I would cry with if they were hurting. To me, that doesn't mean that I am open with too many people. I am who I am. I have chosen to wear my heart on my sleeve (or maybe I haven't chosen that - maybe that's just how God made me). However, that doesn't mean that I will share my friends' hearts on my sleeve. Even though I have more than one best friend, I hope they all know that their secrets are safe with me. I have opened myself up to be vulnerable by wearing my heart on my sleeve. Because I haven't been afraid to do that, I have made some lifelong friendships.

To my BFF's, to my top fives, and to my refrigerator friends, I love you all. God has blessed me so much, that I never worry about having someone to go to when I need them. Or, someone to have a great time with when I want to. I won't rate you all on a scale - you, my best friends, are all #1.

been wanting to do this for a while.

2009-02-16T20:29:00.003-06:00

I saw this somewhere, can't remember where, but you list songs that remind you of moments/seasons in your life. So, I thought I'd give it a try:

Vacation: Freebird (Lynyrd Skynyrd) - Dad played this on every car trip we took. We begged him to play it. This was also the Father/Daughter dance at my wedding.

1st Boyfriend: The Dance (Garth Brooks) - Even though you never know how things are going to turn out, it's always better to love than to not. Even though your heart may be broken, it makes you who you are.

Childhood: Walk Like an Egyptian (The Bangles) - I knew every single word to this album and I thought Susanna Huff was the coolest person ever.

Greg: When You Love Someone (Bryan Adams) - This was the song we danced to at our wedding. The first time I heard it, I knew it was perfect for us.

When I'm Sad: Held (Natalie Grant) - When I need to grieve, or when I need to remember that I'm not alone. Christians can be set apart, not because they are exempt from pain, but because they have accepted the arms that are holding them while they're going through it.

College: Stuck in the Middle w/You (Stealer's Wheel) - I just remember listening to this while we'd have little drinking get togethers.

Adoption: Into the Mystic (Van Morrison) - If you've seen the movie Immediate Family (one of my favorites) you'll know what I'm talking about.

Parents: Remember When (Alan Jackson) - Mom calls this "their song". I cry every time I hear it. I almost can't stand listening to it b/c it makes me cry.

Greg's Parents: Can't Help Falling in Love (Elvis) - This is their song. I can picture/hear Gary singing it now.

Karaoke: Summer Nights (Grease Soundtrack) - Me & Poke... All I have to say!

High School Job: You Oughta Know (Alanis Morrisette) - I knew (and still know!) all the words to this album. No, I'm not a man-hater!! :)

That's all I can think of right now... This was fun!

Sometimes you feel like a...

2009-01-31T19:56:00.000-06:00

Jerk. That's kinda how I feel tonight. I got short with Greg because Gabe didn't take a nap. For some reason, that's the hardest thing for me to deal with - I can handle the tantrums and Gabe hitting and us giving him timeouts, but when he doesn't take a nap, it seems like late afternoons and early evenings are just extremely frustrating.

I know it wasn't Greg's fault. I know I complained about not having time to get things ready for the Momma Getaway I have coming up. I know I complained about never having free time. Sometimes, dang it, I'm just a baby. Ugh.

So, I'm sorry Greg. Sorry for feeling sorry for myself and for bein' a jerk. I love you. Hope you'll always know that.

Kary

2009-01-10T00:26:00.002-06:00

This has left me speechless and mourning. It has also given me hope. Someday, we will see her again. I know that God is faithful and good. He is holding my girl until I can.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2009/01/mourning-and-dancing.html

Can I just say....

2008-12-31T12:47:00.003-06:00

That I've been really happy lately. Really, truly just enjoying life. And, well, that kinda scares the crap outta me.

I know that we SHOULD be happy and feel joyful and all of that. I know that. However, part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop, ya know? Part of me. The other part of me, the part of me I am choosing to listen to is saying:

Just stop. Enjoy this moment. Enjoy this time with your husband and your son. And your friends, your wonderful friends. Be thankful. Let your heart feel joy. Love your family. Love your marriage. Love it all.

The old me would have really been scared right now. The old me would've probably been jeoprodizing my happiness by choosing to be unhappy about little things - letting those little things grow into big things.

Why the change?

Well, there are a couple of reasons. 1). My husband. He is a wonderful man who has taught me that we should have happiness in our lives. The bad stuff is always going to be there, and it will find us. We shouldn't look for it. 2). I'm a parent of an adopted child. Even saying that sentence in my head sounds really weird to me, because I just don't think of him as adopted. He's just mine! When you adopt, there is uncertainty... birth parents can and do change their minds. However, you're not going to keep yourself from being happy at the birth of your child just because there's a possibility that you may not take that child into your arms as your own. No, you fall in love with them from the minute they are born, and I'm convinced they are yours at that very moment. So, even if you don't know if it's all going to work out or that none of the bad stuff will happen, you are happy in that moment and all you can do is love that child. 3). My faith has taught me that no matter what it is, I can survive it. I never imagined I'd miscarry a child. That has been the hardest thing I've been through. However, from that sorrow came great joy... And, I don't regret for a minute being ecstatic when we found out we were pregnant and sharing our joy with loved ones. Even if it ended badly and the shoe did drop, I was happy at that moment.

So, yes, I'm happy. I'm so very happy with my life, my family, my job, my home.

And, it feels good.

How I feel at Christmastime

2008-12-19T13:25:00.004-06:00

I Wish: More adoptive parents would consider open adoptions.
I Love: When my son sees me walk into a room and says, "HI Mommy!"
I Long: For the day when I have more self-confidence about who I am as a person and not just what people see on the outside.
I Hurt: For people who don't think they need relationships. I've been around a few people like this in my life and it's so sad that they shut everyone out. They are missing out on so many wonderful things.
I Imagine: What our house will look like when the work we want to do is complete. I'll probably be imagining that for a long time!
I Wonder: How anyone can knit! So many people have tried to teach me and I swear... I'm hopeless.
I Pray: That Gabe will dedicate his life to Christ someday. That he will know the joy of becoming a Christian and that he will experience the love that only Christ can give.
I Sing: So many Christmas songs in the car, but right now my favorite ones are Rose of Bethlehem and Silent Night by Selah. Oh, and Oh Holy Night by Selah. Ok... so pretty much the entire Selah Christmas CD. If you've never heard of them, check them out - they are my favorite group of all time.
I Hope: I can become a mom again some day. I would love for Gabe to have a sibling.
I Hate: Feeling selfconscious.
I Talk: About my son a lot. I hope I don't annoy people.
I Hear: Quiet right now. Nothing but the sound of the keyboard and my party mix crunching while I enjoy some baby nap time.
I Smell: Garlic. This smell will always remind me of my husband.
I Miss: That feeling of innocence from when I was a child. When I didn't know about all of the junk going on in the world. A time when I thought most people were good and genuine.
I Misbehave: In having an occasional cigarette. My husband is kinda restrictive on this one, so I do savor it when he's cool about it.
I Envy: Other photographers. I know I'm learning... I just wish I could speed up the process a bit!
I Fear: Giving my heart 100% to people. I am always skeptical for a while because I'm afraid of being hurt. I'm working on that.
I Need: To lose some weight. I will feel so much better about myself, physically & mentally.

So, that's how I'm feeling this Christmas! I saw this idea on another blog I frequent and it inspired me to write too! You should try it!

Bob & Tom

2008-12-07T11:09:00.002-06:00

I met Drew Hastings last night! We went with Steve & Tami to see the Bob & Tom Allstars Comedy Tour. We had so much fun!! I know this picture isn't very good quality, but it was taken with a cell phone. No big deal - I met Drew Hastings! He was really nice. Want to know something else? Chick has a really wimpy handshake. Sorry, just had to say that.

We had a great time with Steve & Tami (as always). We ate at Bernardi's (I had the coconut shrimp - amazing) and then we headed to the show. We couldn't believe how many grandmas and grandpas were there watching all these guys make crude jokes and use potty mouths! It was quite fun to watch some guy in his 70's get picked on by Bob Zany.

Gabe stayed the night at Abba & PawPaw's, so we got to sleep in a bit today. It was quite nice! This afternoon, Tami is keeping Gabe for a few hours so Greg and I can try and get some Christmas shopping done.

Thanks for the double-date night, honey! I'm so glad we could celebrate your birthday with such a fun evening.

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas!

2008-11-24T06:04:00.003-06:00

Just wanted to share my two favorite photos from the Lyonses photo session yesterday. What a wonderful family - their friendship has been such a blessing to my family. You can see more of them here.

Picture Post!

2008-11-13T06:16:00.016-06:00

So, here are some pictures to go with the previous post!

We saw this on our walk the first night we were there... California! This was in the Disney park area.

The Disney park was lined with these awesome trees... I only wish my picture could do it justice! Notice the fireworks in the background! We were able to see those the first night we were there. It was pretty cool.

The Hollywood sign!

And, just because it is SUPER cool in Black & White!

Rodeo Drive! Didn't buy anything... The stores didn't have anything for me!

The palm trees...ahhh...

Ok, so I'm all about famous signs...

The name of President Reagan and the First Lady's boat was TruLuv.

Greg and retired Air Force One. Retired in 2001.

Still looks like it's ready for takeoff.

A piece of the Berlin wall.

The amazing view from the Reagan Presidential Library. No wonder it was their favorite place to be.

Pictureless Post

2008-11-09T22:27:00.003-06:00

SO, Greg and I are in CALIFORNIA! It's been a really great trip. Today, we went to Rodeo Drive or as Greg called it "RoDEEo Doctor"... I only heard that about 100 times... :) After Rodeo Drive, we drove around looking for the Hollywood sign, all the while quoting lines from Pretty Woman... "Welcome to Hollywood. What's your dream?" or "Reg. Bev. Wil." or "Rodeo Drive, Baby".

After the Hollywood & Beverly Hills stuff, we went to visit the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. It was amazing. Completely humbling. I cried listening to the commentary about "Ronnie" and Nancy's love for each other. It was real. He was real. They led such an amazing life. We got to see the desk set on his desk in the Oval Office, many famous selections from the former First Lady's wardrobe, campaign memoribilia, and we even were able to go through the retired Air Force One. It was just incredible to see some pieces from history... our history. Ronald Reagan was president while I was a child. I wish I would've been older at the time so I could have followed his presidential career. We even saw a piece of the Berlin Wall today. It was amazing.

I'm so glad that Greg and I share an appreciation for history. We were both in awe today. I think we both teared up at points, just overwhelmed from it all. What an amazing life. What an amazing couple.

After we got back from our tourist adventures, Greg had to go to the conference/training he's here for. I got to take a nice nap, and then we went to an appetizer party where we met some of the salesmen and other "geeky" guys here. It was pretty fun. I think Greg was proud of me because I held my own with the guys. :)

I make Greg laugh because when we travel, I act like such a tourist. I will ask questions and not be shy. I'll make a fool of myself if I want to see something, get an autograph, etc... I don't care. I wasn't going to come to California and not at least ASK where the Hollywood sign was. I had no idea if it was 30 miles away or 200 miles away. I just wanted to know if it was possible to see it. Once I found out we were close, it was my mission to find it. (I did the same thing in Vegas with the "Welcome to Las Vegas, Nevada" sign). But, because I wasn't afraid of looking like a "tourist", we got to see those famous things! I am so glad that I asked about Rodeo Drive and the sign today.

Well, tomorrow, I'm taking it easy while Greg's in the conference & training all day. Then tomorrow night we're attending a Pirates of the Carribean dinner the company is throwing. It should be fun. I brought my camera (duh!) but I don't have a way of taking the pictures off the card until I get home.

The ONLY sucky thing? We sure miss our little Gabers. We know he's safe and sound and probably having an awesome time himself, but we sure miss him.

So, Greg, in case I forget to tell you later, I had a great trip with you.

Thoughts on Photographing my 1st Wedding:

2008-11-02T22:46:00.002-06:00

Thankful I wore comfortable shoes.
I was tired... dog tired when we got home.
SO thankful to have a second shooter.
I need a new camera - that will hold an SD card.
2 CF cards were not near enough.
It stinks trying to delete pictures just to make more room.
Be QUICK
Be flexible - never know what's going to happen!
Don't panic when all of the curtains are shut (when you were told they'd be open)
Be glad it was a beautiful day!
Eat at the reception
BRING WATER
Take as many photos as you can
Don't panic.

Overall, it went very well. Between me & Grant, we got all of the shots we wanted. I don't know how/if people shoot weddings by themselves. I'm working on the processing now and I'm finding that a lot of mine are grainy. One of the problems was the lighting during the ceremony. The closest thing I can think of, is it reminded me of the lighting in a gymnasium... yeah really difficult! However, we did get a lot of good shots and I'm already having fun processing them.

Oh, yeah, I was asked to do another wedding! Um, I'll be thinking about that... It's a lot of work, but it is GREAT experience.

Family Photo Session

2008-10-28T22:39:00.005-05:00

I had the pleasure of taking this awesome family's pictures this last weekend at Wesleyan's campus. It was so much fun. I had over 100 pictures that I was able to give the family to choose from. Let me just say again, it was so much fun. I felt so confident and even if I wasn't quite sure of what I was doing, I trusted myself and I came out with some pretty cute pictures. Hopefully the family loves them, as that is what I was going for. I had never met the family before, so I was nervous, but I still feel like it went well. We seemed to work well together and I just thought they were so nice.

Well, Greg's wife's been up to a lot. Most recently, and least fun, I hurt my back on Saturday. I took these pictures on Sunday, so I was really afraid I was going to be hobbling around Sunday, but I didn't do too bad. Last night, I went for a massage to try and improve it a bit and that was great, until I tried to get up. Here I am, 3/4 naked and I can't stand up to put my clothes on without yelping in pain. We're talking bad pain here... like the worst I've ever had. And, it has to be pretty bad for me to need to have help getting dressed. It was so humiliating. All I could do was stand, basically folded in half, with my upper body laying on the massage table. And that's how I stood for about a half and hour. I seriously could not move. After a lot of ice and some Biofreeze, I was able to get dressed (with the help of the massage therapist - still humiliating) and Greg came and helped me hobble out to the car. Seriously, this ranks up there as one of the most embarassing nights of my life.

I spent most of today in bed. Thankfully, I had some pain medicine which helped quite a bit, but it knocked me out. Sleep was great though and I feel so much better than I did last night. I hate it that the house is a mess and I can't bend much to pick things up. I'm hoping I am completely better by Saturday, as this is my first wedding and I really want to be in tip top shape! I don't want to be in pain that whole day. I don't even know what the specific thing was that caused me to hurt my back! I know I reached over to pick up something of Gabe's, but it wasn't an instant pain or anything. Ugh.

Here are a few more of the photos from the family session:

Bri's Husband

2008-10-17T23:46:00.003-05:00

Tonight, I had the pleasure of going on a date with my husband. It's kind of a rarity nowadays! I actually lucked out... My sister Lindsey called to see if she could come over today to see Gabe. Of course she could! Then, I had a spur of the moment idea to see if she would mind watching him so Greg and I could go to dinner. She was thrilled! She is in nursing school right now, so she doesn't get to see Gabe very much. So, it worked out very well!

Greg and I had a very nice dinner at Biaggi's. We were going to go to a movie, but there wasn't really anything to see. So, our next stop was Good Will. Weird I know... Biaggi's, then Good Will. We had fun picking out some cassette tapes because Greg's truck only has a cassette player! Among our choices were the Pretty Woman Soundtrack, Heart, and Madonna. Oh, and Greg had to get the Bel Biv Divoe tape. Ugh. I told him that was fine, but he had to listen to "That girl is poison..." by himself.

After Good Will, we went to Sam's Club to price a new twin bed for our growing toddler. He wants nothing to do with the crib anymore. We also bought Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Oh, and we drooled over some furniture that we'd really like to have for our basement that we're remodeling. Finally, we headed to Borders to check out some books to read while we sipped on some beverages from their cafe. By the way, I just love that you can do that at Barnes & Noble and Borders. It's so relaxing.

It was just a really nice night to spend with my husband. We had a really great time. I'm really thankful that after 7 (almost 8, Greg) years of marriage that we can still enjoy our time together, still talk open and honestly, and still make the time for "us". As parents, it's definitely harder to find that time, but totally necessary.

Good night, hubby... Thanks for the date.

Photo Session

2008-10-12T22:45:00.003-05:00

I had a great time taking Jenny & Rene's engagement pictures today. I just love how this one turned out... Jenny's eyes look amazing. Well, I know this is a super-short post, but I'm tired! You can see more of the photos here.

I love Fall.

2008-09-30T16:26:00.002-05:00

Today was just beautiful... except for going to a new doctor, an endocrinologist. Suck. It didn't go near as well as I'd hoped. I left there feeling 10x more confused than when I walked in the door. More to follow... just too tired to write the whole thing out.

Thoughts of an Infertile Woman...

2008-09-26T20:10:00.003-05:00

Ok, I know it's been a long time since I've posted. But, I do have reason... I am the mom of a busy toddler, I work part time in the office, and full time at home, etc... I also have another reason for delaying a post. I've been considering writing this post for a while now because it's been on my chest and I just haven't been sure if I should "put it out there". But, I think as Gabe & Rafiki from The Lion King would say, "It is time."

I just wanted to share some random thoughts on what it is like to be an infertile woman. I want to say right away that 1. I am not writing this for sympathy. 2. I am not writing this to be insensitive. 3. I am not writing this to complain in any way about what I do/do not have. I AM writing this because I think 1. It is something that most people don't talk about. 2. I want to make people more conscious of the things they say and do. 3. So if any infertile women out there are reading this, they know that at least one other woman has thought what they think. That they're not alone. That it is natural and normal to feel these feelings. Infertility, to me, is one of the loneliest feelings in the world. No one seems to understand how you're feeling and no one can make it better. Ok, now I feel like I can begin...

Everytime I found out another woman was pregnant, it crushed me. I don't care how great of friends we were, it crushed me. I was so happy for them, but honestly, I was angry too. How could they be?? They just started trying! They can't possibly want a baby as badly as we do.
I made myself involved in baby showers, shopping with friends for baby stuff, saying things like, "well, when I get pregnant...". I'm not sure why I did that. I guess maybe I thought it would be easier if I talked with my friend through it instead of distancing myself. I don't really do this anymore. I think I realized it was a way to experience it, but once the baby was born and the parents were busy, I was kind of alone all over again.
I hate comments like, "If you just relax, it will happen" or "When you least expect it, it will happen", or "It will happen in God's timing". Yes, thank you. I know all of those things CAN be true. However, I have an actual medical condition why it doesn't just happen. It's not all about positive thinking, praying more, and letting go and doing it with your hubby.
It drove me crazy knowing that if there was anything in this world I wanted to do - be a doctor, be a lawyer, jump out of an airplane, I could work my tail off to do it. Granted, it wouldn't be easy, but I could achieve it. Having a child was different. No matter how much I wanted it, how much I worked towards it, truly it was God's timing and I had no choice in the matter.
Infertility is very, very lonely. Yes, your husband wants a child. I don't know if they ever really feel it like women do though. I guess I have always felt a little bit like Greg got a broken model... a woman that doesn't "do" what she was made to do. He has never, ever made me feel that way, in fact, he has been so supportive. But, I just don't think it is the same for men as it is women. Your family sympathizes too, but can't begin to grasp how you're feeling. You always feel like friends and family have to watch what they say around you to protect your feelings. And, while that is extremely thoughtful, you feel like an outsider.
I became friends with other women who were going through infertility as well, but I soon found out that really didn't help to much... one of us was always going to get pregnant before the other - it was unavoidable. I was always the one that wasn't pregnant and as much as those friends said things wouldn't, they always changed.

I'm still living with infertility now. I still have a lot of those lonely feelings. Yes, I do have a child - a wonderful, amazing, smart, kind child. I wouldn't trade him for a hundred children I could bear myself. I do still wish though, in the bottom of my heart, that someday I'll be able to experience giving birth to a child. If it isn't in the cards, if God doesn't want our family to be created that way, that's ok. I've learned through all of this so many big lessons. I'd like to share some of those too:

God can take a heart that's been damaged so many times by the hopes of pregnancies month after month and the loss of a child through miscarriage, and completely fill that heart with joy so that it is overflowing. That happened to me when my son Gabe was born. I never ever thought after losing our child to miscarriage that I was even capable of joy again. I couldn't understand why God had blessed us beyond measure and then in the blink of an eye, our child was gone. I was angry with God for a long time because of that. Little did I know what joy He had in store for us.
I am stronger than I thought I was. I really didn't know how I was going to survive the pain. It was unbearable. There was a night when I laid on the nursery floor and cried (with Jinxi bawled up right beside me). I wanted to give up and not try again. I didn't even want to adopt. The pain was too much - I didn't want to give my heart away.
I have learned how to respond to other people's pain - many aspects of pain, not just infertility. God has given me a heart for hurting with other people. God has made me a better friend because of it. God has shown me how very valuable life is - how we need to treasure each moment. Even though I was only pregnant for a short time, I look back on those days and Greg and I were truly happy - we lived in the moment. Mom and I went maternity clothes shopping. We started the nursery. We told people. I am thankful that we did all of those things.
I have learned what to say and what not to say. When to speak and when to listen. (Ok, sometimes I'm still working on this one!)

Because we went through this, I am a better friend. I am a better mom. I feel better about who I am. I would never wish infertility on my worst enemy, but it hasn't been completely devastating to me. In fact, it was devastating. I did fall down in defeat several times. However, I am stronger now. I am wiser now. And, I am a mom now. I am able to look back and reflect on the events that God used to create the tapestry of my life. He knew the entire time what the end result would be. He knew, even though He saw me hurting day after day - and still some days - that I was going to be better because of it. And, I am thankful for that.

Momma Getaway

2008-09-15T00:18:00.016-05:00

This past weekend, I had the absolute JOY going away on a retreat with my very best friends. I came up with the idea of having a Momma Getaway quite a while ago - I wanted to have a weekend with my friends in which we could scrapbook, talk, eat, sleep, as long as we wanted to without any hubbies or kids. As much as hubbies and kids are important and always the very most important people in our lives, we have to make time for ourselves as Mommas too. We need a break from responsibility every once in a while to get back to the friends we may not have been able to give much time to. We need to get caught up on the albums we're making for our kids. This weekend was everything I could've imagined and more. I am so unbelievably blessed with terrific friendships with these amazing women. And, a couple of them haven't even met before - everyone was talking, sharing stories and supplies, and having a great time together the entire weekend. How awesome. Here are a few more photos from the weekend:

Tami made me & Darci a birthday cake - Darci's was on the 11th and mine is the 17th. She's so sweet. Do me a favor, please don't count the candles!

Here is Darci busy at work scrapping. Check out the table! We were able to put the tables into a big square and sit around and talk while we scrapped. It reminded me of those quilting bee's the ladies used to have. We each had our own tables, so we had plenty of room to spread out.

Here we are... Darci did a great job of setting up here mini tripod to get a photo of all of us. L to R: Marya, Mary, Me, Tami, Darci, & Janell.

Our cabin had a big, stuffed, real bear in it. We had him as our protector, so we had to get a photo with him... or her... Who knows, maybe she was a scrapper!

One of my favorite photos from the weekend. I love Janell's face here. I told them I thought I may have gas while we were all so close in the pose, and we missed the first picture. We were still laughing at it when Darci set up for this photo.

This little guy worked his tail off this weekend! We had two Cricut machines there and it was fantastic. We got so much done! I was able to get 18 and 1/2 layouts done! I am now up to 19 months, and Gabe is only 20 months old. How great is that?! I snapped this picture when we went to bed - I shut off all the lights and this was the only light on. Suddenly, I was just kind of taken aback at how wonderful the weekend was.

And now, a tribute to each of my friends:

Oh, Marya - you are a friend I can laugh with, cry with, scrap with, and just plain old be myself with. I love that you are so forgiving, honest, and fun to be around. You are a fantastic mom, devoted to your boys, and I have learned so much from you about being a wife and a mom. I am so glad you joined us this weekend and I hope you enjoyed meeting some of my friends you haven't met.

I will forever be thankful for the countless hours we have spent together scrapping and talking and for your friendship. Love ya, Scrappy 2.

Janell, I am so glad you were able to join us this weekend. I am so in awe of your ability to keep it all together. Apart from being the mom of 4 great kids, you are able work and set aside time to spend with friends. You have been a terrific inspiration to me as far as motherhood and friendship goes. You are a very fun-loving, life-loving person. AND, your ability to do so many things and always be in such a great mood will never cease to amaze me! You are very generous with your time for others. You help your inlaws and friends and all the while have managed to raise a great family. Love you too!

Darci, where can I begin? You are such a very special friend to me. Your friendship has taught me so much about being a friend to others, being a friend to myself, being a mom, being aware of the pain others may be experiencing, etc... You are a teacher. You are a confidant. You are an amazing, devoted mom. You are a gifted scrapper. You and I have been through so much together and each time we go through something, our friendship deepens. We have been so blessed to be able to experience the birth of our children so closely timed to each other (that was a God thing for sure). We have been so fortunate to raise them together. They will grow up knowing their mommies are friends, just like them. I love you and thank you for all of the above.

Mary, you are my oldest friend (don't worry, I'm not talking age here!) You've been there for me through it all... First crushes, sharing stories of our first kisses, college, our weddings, the birth of our children, etc... You know me from way back when. I am so thankful for your dedication in making our friendship stand the test of time. I'm so thankful for your kindness, forgiving heart, caring attitude, phone calls (forgiveness when I don't return them on time!), reminders that I'm not a grandma when we go to Pizza Hut!, endless games of MASH we played when we were kids, countless walks, visits to Thomas Delight, college visits, etc... I'm so honored that you've spent so many memories with me. I'm thankful for your tears - when you've cried with sadness with me when we lost our baby. When you cried with happiness when Gabe was born. I will forever be grateful for your friendship. Thank you for being my first BFF. I love you too.

Last, but definitely not least, Tamalamadingdong. Tami, I am so thankful for you. You have been such an inspiration to me of what a mom should be. You have so greatly impacted my life with how you love your children, how you have had a marriage of many years, how you love God - how you come to Him as a child, and how you love that beautiful McCarthy. Your generosity has moved me to tears. Your sewing talents are amazing and continually impressing me. You & Steve have given Greg and me many great evenings by the fire, or at the kitchen table just hanging out. I love that you stalk me. :) I love that you love Gabe so much. I love that I can cry with you and I love how I can talk things out with you. I love that you want to be my friend because I so do not feel worthy. I love your humbleness. If I could be like anyone, I'd want to be like you - except for the bossyness.... I am TOTALLY kidding!! Just trying to get a rise out of you! I love you, Tami (niagw) and thanks for sharing the snoring room with me.

I am so blessed. So very, very blessed.

Wedding Update

2008-08-24T20:28:00.003-05:00

Today I met with the bride and groom whose wedding I'll be photographing. I really liked the couple. They were very nice and it really seems like this will be a great first wedding experience. As for level of difficulty, I'm thinking it won't be too bad. First of all, the room in which they're getting married has plenty of windows and after discussing it with the bride, all of the curtains will be open, which if it's a nice day, will provide ample lighting. Also, they are getting married in a Masonic lodge - there are a lot of neat photo ops. The building is over 100 years old, so there is a lot of woodwork and old doors, great backdrops for wedding photos.

I have to admit, I was really nervous about the meeting today. I went very prepared with a list of questions for the bride and groom. I am still really nervous about November 1, but after today, I really feel so much better. I will also have a second shooter with me as well. This will help me so much. I really don't know how people would photograph a wedding without a second person there.

I have been reading quite a few posts on Flickr with all my questions about wedding photos, do's and don't's for the photographer, and what equipment I still need to purchase. Last week, Greg ordered me a reflector, so that should be here tomorrow. Yippee!! I'm so excited! This week, I am getting a wide angle lens and an external flash. Let's just say that birthday and Christmas are covered for me!

Speaking of Greg, he's been fantastic as far as supporting my new business. He has been a great encourager when I have been doubting myself. He has pushed me even when I think I should give up. He has also reminded me that I love this and if I really love it, I should pursue it. I'm trying so hard to learn as much as I can before the wedding. I've never really felt this way about anything before. I just love it. I love talking about it. I love figuring out what I'm doing wrong.

I will quote one of my best friends here, Dr. Darci J. Harland:

"The more you know, the more you know you don't know". That's exactly how I feel.

Yikes!

2008-08-08T12:20:00.003-05:00

So, I accepted my first offer to photograph a wedding today. Am I insane? I don't know! I am really excited to have been asked to do it. I am really excited to try some new things. I just hope to do a great job for the bride and groom. The wedding is in November, so I have a lot of time to prepare. I am just honored to have been asked and I really hope I can capture this special day for them.

Been Busy

2008-07-29T23:11:00.003-05:00

Gotta make this a quick post... (I'm exhausted. I've been staying up late on Flickr everynight. - Dang Flickr'll get ya everytime.) Just wanted to share my favorite photo from my cousin's daughter's birthday. My cousin, Steph asked me to take pics of Hailey at 2 years. I had a lot of fun. I love her grandma's hand on hers in this picture. Oh, and she's stinkin' adorable.

My mind has been going a mile a minute since Wish I Might became official. I just have all of these ideas sparking and I've never felt this way about anything before! It's just such an awesome feeling. I may not be the best, and I may not have all of the fancy equipment, but you gotta start somewhere. Word of mouth has been going well. I've gotten a few "leads" and I am anxious to receive some follow up info on those.

Time for bed. I'm beat!

Wish I Might

2008-07-27T22:32:00.003-05:00

Currently, I am working on my portfolio for Wish I Might. If you are interested in checking out some of the photos, click HERE. Any comments/suggestions would be much appreciated!!

The Reveal

2008-07-26T17:01:00.002-05:00

Yes, I have been considering starting a SMALL photography business! MY logo (I designed it and I love it) is right here! I am feverishly working on a portfolio to put online, so I'd love to have Greg's wife readers provide me with feedback when that's available. I am having so much fun going through old pictures I've taken and giving them new life with all the processing skills I've learned. I am just so passionate about this. It's absolutely my favorite thing to do. Even if this turns into nuttin', I'm having an absolute blast.

My One and Only Someone

2008-07-20T21:41:00.004-05:00

Reasons why I love my hubby:

He worked his butt off today. We just got back from camping and Greg braved the hot, humid weather to clean our camper up and organize the outside compartments. (while I was inside, in the air conditioning, cleaning and putting things away)
He taught Gabe about Pez candy today.
He brought me a Coke from Casey's and I didn't even ask for it.
He is the most forgiving, generous, funny person I know.
He's so cute - and he doesn't even know it.
He loves me for who I am - realizes I have faults, accepts those faults, and loves me completely. I will never know how I got one of the best men out there.
He is so patient with Gabe.
He requires time with Gabe - meaning if they haven't had some Daddy/Gabe time in a while, he is sure to take him on a walk, or play with him, or put Gabe's favorite show on the TV and sit in the recliner with him.
He found Gabe a favorite cartoon on a morning that he let me sleep in.
He looks dang adorable sitting in the recliner sleeping with his mouth open.

I love you babe... these are just some of the reasons why.

For your review

2008-06-29T22:37:00.004-05:00

Ok, I have two more... please let me know your honest opinions!!

The second one is by far my favorite!! Too girlie though?

Trying something new...

2008-06-29T00:11:00.003-05:00

I asked my sister if I could try making some invites for her wedding in Aug of 2009... Any comments or suggestions? I haven't done this before, but I'm learning quite a bit about Photoshop, so I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Girls Night Out

2008-06-28T14:39:00.006-05:00

Last night was a lot of fun. I went with my sister in law, Missy, and my neice, Katie, to paint pottery. First of all, those two are pro pottery painters! They knew all the tricks of the trade. I didn't know there was a little pick-thingy you could use to scrap small amounts of paint off if you messed up! Sweet! Secondly, they're just awesome to hang out with. I had fun just chilling out with them.
There's just so much to choose from. I wanted to make everything. Here's what we ended up making:

Greg's Wife: Crayon Bowl - read the story behind it here. And, the Gabe's Mom sign - too fun!
Katie: The Apple plate - isn't she creative?
Missy: The adorable chess nameplate for Julia, a soccer nameplate for Katie (not shown) and a small garden stone.

(Needless to say, Missy was a little faster than me & Kate!)

I love these two girls - we had a lot of fun. I can't wait to go back... I already know what I want to make!! You'll have to wait a week though to see the finished products!!

What made my night...

2008-06-25T22:17:00.002-05:00

Getting some M&M's from the hubby. This is the M&M I created. You can create your own here.

Adi

2008-06-22T17:53:00.005-05:00

I had the pleasure of taking my high school BFF's daughter's pictures on Thursday. It was so much fun. Mary had her dressed as a little cowgirl, complete with the boots and all. Adi will be 4 years old and I'll have to admit, this was a bit of a challenge, but it was still a lot of fun. Here are a couple of my faves:

I love the above picture! She just looks like she's squealing with delight.

Way to end the day...

2008-06-12T20:21:00.003-05:00

Greg: "WOW. You took that photo?"
Me: "Yep, I sure did."
Greg: "That's awesome."

Sure feels nice to get a compliment like that from your hubby.

Crappy day, but Awesome night

2008-06-10T22:29:00.010-05:00

So, today was pretty crappy because I felt SO fat all day long. You ever have those days? Like nothing you wear looks half way decent? Like everything in your closet sucks? That's the kind of day I had. I also am wearing my stupid glasses, because while at the cottage I dropped my gaspermeable contact down the drain - with the water running. However, I did get new shoes today. I did get to have a BLAST taking the following engagement pics:

I am just enjoying photography so much. This is a friend of mine at work and she already had a pro take her pics, but told me I could take some for practice too. I just had a blast. I am going to be taking my sisters' engagement pictures, so I definitely wanted some practice. Each time I get an opportunity to take photos, I learn so much!

SHMILY?

2008-06-09T23:05:00.003-05:00

7 years today is how long we've been married. I love you more today than yesterday. Happy Anniversary and thank you for taking me to see a TOTAL chick flick, Sex and the City. I love you.

Ima

2008-06-03T12:08:00.003-05:00

Universal Friend.

One of my best friends' daughters described me the other day as a universal friend. I was kinda taken aback. I asked her what she meant and she said, "Ya know, you're like friends with my mom and like friends with me, and that's cool!". I took that as a great compliment. That's what I want to be. A universal friend. I did a search on universal on thesaurus.com. Here's some of the synonyms for universal:

accepted
boundless
constant
cosmopolitan (yummy!)
undisputed
unexcluding
unlimited

See why I took it as a compliment? Getting a compliment like this one, sure made me feel like I was doing my best to be a good friend. Because I do strive for that. I know I fall short a lot. I know I mess up. But, I am trying to be a better friend. One that can be relied on. One that can be trusted. One that even loves my friends' faults. I'm working on it, and a comment like this one makes me feel like I'm accomplishing that.

Speaking of friends, this weekend we are heading to my other best friends' family cottage. I am so excited about it. We will be sharing the cottage with 5 other couples and 3 children between the ages of 8 months to 17 months. It'll be interesting to take Gabe there this time... It'll be hard to keep an eye on him and Caleb now that they're both walking, but it'll also be fun to take him out on the boat for a ride around the lake. I'll post pics when we get back. Have a great weekend!

Luke

2008-05-28T14:51:00.003-05:00

Today, while catching up on Angie's blog, I learned that Todd's sister, Nicol Sponberg and her husband, Greg, lost their child Luke. I have met Nicol at one of the Selah concerts, along with Todd and Alan. I just can't even imagine. I can't even put into words how much this loss must be hurting the family. They have lost 2 children in such a close amount of time.

Please pray. I don't know what else to say. This is all I can say right now.

Results

2008-05-22T22:02:00.005-05:00

I think most of you already know this, but my lovely lady lumps are fine. The tumor (I have a flippin' tumor!) is just some dead tissue caused by "significant trauma to the breast". Um... How in the heck did I have significant trauma to one of my boobies and not know it? Well, probably because they're huge and I run into stuff all the time with them! Oh, and sometimes my son uses them as punching bags.

Anywho, thank you to all of you who prayed for my "woobies". I was so fortunate that nothing was wrong.

Greg comes home tonight after being gone on a short business trip. We've missed him, but this is probably the best behaved Gabers has been when Greg's been gone. So, that has definitely made things easier.

I would like to request prayers from you prayer warriors out there - Ok, eh hem, I kind of have a short list:

A friend "N" lost one of her parents in a tragic motorcycle accident. This same accident left the other parent critically injured. Please pray that "N" will be able to handle this very long road ahead. I would specifically ask that you pray that she will feel God with her now.

Steven Curtis Chapman, a Christian singer I grew up listening to, tragically lost his youngest daughter, Maria, when one of his sons accidently hit her with the car. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that family is feeling now. That poor boy who hit her. I just cannot let my mind go there.

Todd & Angie Smith - they have been mentioned in previous posts. Things are starting to settle for them - their daily lives and routines have begun again. I pray they feel God's presence in those moments when they miss Audrey the most.

Our nation and the future leader we choose this November.

My family - I pray for their health and safety. That I can turn my worries over to God - when they travel, when we're apart, and when I just feel worry creeping in. That I can trust that God cares for them MORE than I do. Unimaginable. I just can't comprehend that.

Thank you in advance for your prayers. Please know, if you ever need prayer that I'd be honored to lift you up to our Father.

I don't know about you all, but it just seems like lately, there are so many tragedies. There are so many things happening all around us - people suffering, children dying, etc... Am I just noticing all of this now that I'm getting older? It's almost like you have to shut it off. I don't know if that makes sense or not... Let me rephrase... It's almost like you have to keep your mind from going to all of these places and hurting. For example, I talked to "N" last night. Her story was so sad, I about couldn't take it. I was literally holding the tears in. I really don't know how people with no faith can do it. I mean to think this is it? Personally, knowing that Heaven is waiting, brings me so much comfort in a world that is so fallen and full of pain. Pain is everywhere. I'm certainly not trying to be a "Debbie Downer". It's just this has really been on my mind lately. It's depressing to watch the news. It's heart-wrenching to read the blog of a mom dying of cancer.

I'm so thankful there's a way out of this. That God sent Jesus to take all that pain and all the sin and put it on His shoulders. Because, let me tell you, if I had to carry it, I wouldn't even be able to get up off the ground.

Thanks for hanging in there with me tonight. This is just what's on my mind.

-b (or b-bop, as "N" would call me)

It Started with a Chair.

2008-05-18T20:40:00.009-05:00

My obsession with photo session props, that is. I LOVE this chair. Our town had clean up days this weekend. Now, I've never been one to shop clean up days, but as we were headed up to my parents' house, Greg stopped the truck and said, "Woah, look at that chair! Should we get it?" My initial response was, "No way... we can't do that!" But, then I was like, "That would be a SA-WEET photo prop". So, we grabbed it. I can't wait to try it out!

Speaking of photography, I had the honor of taking some 25th anniversary pictures this weekend. This guy is my dad's cousin. My husband was actually the ring bearer in their wedding... So, Greg and I met 25 years ago and we didn't even know it! Here are some of my favorites:

I sure am loving this photography stuff. I had the best time and I'm really happy with how they turned out. I don't think they're too bad for a beginner!

Update

2008-05-16T15:36:00.002-05:00

The doc decided basically to let me choose what I wanted to have done: 1) Leave the lovely lady lump alone, B) Have a core biopsy done in his office, at least to determine if it was cancerous, or 3) Just remove it - the lump, not the boob.

After asking for his opinion, and discussing the three options, Greg and I thought the biopsy would be the best way to go at this point. At least we could hopefully rule out our biggest concern without being too invasive. Also, it was better than just leaving it and wondering if there was even a possiblity of cancer.

The procedure wasn't too bad. The worst part was numbing the boobie and because mine are so ginormous, it took a few injections of lidocane to do the trick. At one point, I think I yelped because when he stuck the instrument in, he hadn't numbed me down far enough. So, I received more numbing medicine. It was a really weird feeling not to have feeling in my "woobie" as my friend, Tami calls them. I kept my eyes tightly shut the entire time for fear of catching a glimpse of the huge needle thing they entered the room holding. They took 3 samples with a vacuum-type instrument and I was done. Now, I just wait until Monday or Tuesday for the results. I'm not too worried, since the Doc didn't seem to think it was cancerous. He said these types of lumps, excuse me, tumors, are pretty common in women my age.

As you can imagine, I milked this (no pun intended) for all it was worth - "Greg, I need the new People magazine... my lump wants it". Or, "You know, my lump is really hungry for Logan's for lunch...". Tee Hee... I'm bad.

It's all thanks to the prayers from my peeps out there that I am able to joke about this procedure today. I'm very fortunate that the doctor doesn't seem worried and that I didn't have to get nasty and demand a biopsy. He said he really just wanted to put my mind at ease. It sure is nice to have a doctor who cares about how their patients feel. In fact, through the entire procedure, he was excellent. "Does this hurt?" "You doing ok?" etc... Considering what it was, it couldn't have gone better.

Where I've been

2008-05-16T08:08:00.003-05:00

So, I've really been debating on blogging about this. But, I'm going to. I think I'll feel better.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a lump in my breast while showering. Wasn't even doing an exam, I was just washing. I didn't really think much of it because I've had lumps before, but they've been nothing - just temporary lumps that the doctor said would go away. This one felt a little different. So, I decided to get it checked out.

On Tuesday at 1:30, I had an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech told me that my doctor wouldn't have results until Thursday or Friday. When I got home from work Tuesday night, there was a message at 3:30 from my doctor's office. Wednesday morning I called and the nurse advised they wanted me to have a biopsy. They scheduled my appointment for today at 12:30.

When I called the surgeon's office to verify some admin stuff, they advised me that this was just a consultation. So, no biopsy today, just an exam from him and his suggestion on how to move forward. I think no matter what he says today, I'm going to request the biopsy. I don't really want to wonder about this foreign thing growing in my body.

So, how am I dealing with all of this? Honestly, I'm worried. I am a mother now. I don't want to borrow trouble, but I can't lie... I have had those fearful thoughts about this being cancer. I have thought, "oh my gosh, what would I do?" But, I'm really trying to remember, especially at my age, cancer is pretty uncommon. Something like 80% of biopsies come back cancer-free. I've got peeps praying right now... that's really all we can do.

So, today, I'll meet with the surgeon and find out what he wants to do. No matter what, I'm having that biopsy. (um, well, if he'll do it for me)

Been Scrappin'

2008-05-04T14:10:00.006-05:00

I've been doing a lot of scrappin' for the baby shower I'm hosting next weekend. And, I am having a blast! I made these adorable little lions for the invites... I will have to post of picture of those too. There are also decorations, signs, etc... Can't wait to post those, but I don't want to ruin it for the parents - just in case they read this blog. I get to meet Little McCarthy this week. He is the grandson of one of my best friends, Tami, and he is the guest of honor (along with his Mommy) at the shower. He's a cute little guy... Here's a pic of him with Tami:

I will post pictures soon of the other shower goodies!

No Words.

2008-04-26T15:17:00.004-05:00

I mentioned before, Todd & Angie Smith and their family: http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Please continue to keep them lifted in prayer. They lost their daughter Audrey Caroline. They have added a song and video to their blog as a memorial to their daughter. There are no words I can express - I had to turn the sound off because I couldn't make it through the song, but I did watch the heartfelt, beautiful video.

God is still God. God cares for our lost children more than we ever could, which is unimaginable. I can't imagine anyone loving Gabe or the daughter we lost more than I do. More than Greg does. But God does. As human beings we just can't wrap our minds around that. I can't anyway. But, God is still God. He is the same now and forever. Even when bad things happen, and we ache with despair and don't know how we can go on, He is the same. He doesn't change when things get bad. What a comfort. What a tremendous help with the burden.

I learned this by reading Angie's blog. When they found out they'd lose their daughter, Angie continued to repeat, "He is still the same". What a testimony to her faith. I think a lot of times when life is hard, really hard, it's easy for us to feel abandoned - like God just isn't there. But how comforting to know that He doesn't change. His love for us is perfect and unconditional all of the time.

This blog/message really touched me today. Please keep the Smiths lifted up to our God who was and is, and is to come.

I Did It

2008-04-21T06:10:00.004-05:00

And I'm out of breath. Ok, get your mind out of the gutters.

I went for a run/brisk walk this morning... I may not have gone very far, but the point is, I did it. I started with exercise this morning. I also came home and did 25 situp/curl thingies. (Obviously, I'm not an exerciser at all... I don't even know the terms). My sister is getting married in August of 2009, so I need to start somewhere. I know this sounds bad to say, but I just don't want to be the obviously fattest bridesmaid. You all know the girl I'm talking about (again, I know... this sounds so petty and shallow).

A Thinner Me

For the longest time, I've just assumed that fatness is what I'll become (I know, I have a terrible self image!!). But I don't want to be. I want to be one of those people that jogs (or yogs... maybe that's how you pronounce it... what movie am I referring to??) And, I can be. If it's something I really want. And, it is a nice little alone time too. I have to say, starting out the day with a sense of pride in doing something I didn't think I'd do, feels pretty dang good.

On my heart

2008-04-13T10:56:00.004-05:00

If you have a moment, please go to this blog.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

This story has changed my life and the way I think about the child we lost to miscarriage. What a brave, beautiful, faithful family. Todd is one of the singers in my favorite Christian group, Selah. The ornament shown above was given to me by my sister in law after we lost our child. I will always treasure it. For me, it helps to have something that is hers.

Hi Friend

2008-04-03T20:29:00.002-05:00

Check out these two biker mamas. We are looking good! This is me & one of my best friends, Darci. Darci and I have been friends for a few years now and her friendship has been one that has taught me so much about myself, about how to be a good friend, and about how to love.

Darci is true, forgiving, funny, and she has integrity. She is accomplished, she is wise, and she is kindhearted.

It was so nice to get to talk to her tonight. We have been really busy now that we both have little boys. Even though we don't get to spend as much time together as we'd like, we both "get it" and make the most of the 15 minutes here and there that we do get to talk. We are able to pick up where we left off and have a heartfelt conversation in just that short time.

So, Friend, thank you for staying a bit to talk! I love you and I'm proud of you.

Favorite Song

2008-04-03T12:01:00.001-05:00

I have a new favorite song:
Between the Lines - Sara Bareilles (This song is not on You Tube yet... Hmph!)
Love this girl - the entire Little Voice cd is fantastic. Check it out!

Lighthearted

2008-03-31T20:46:00.003-05:00

My most recent posts have been a little, how you say, heavy... So, I thought I'd throw another lighthearted one out there! Rock of Love 2 has become my guilty pleasure. It seriously is just one of those shows I can leave on and not worry about missing much. I mean, seriously, it's sad. It's really sad that I actually Tivo'd Rock of Love 2 this last Sunday so I wouldn't miss who got the boot.

I also found out on vacation that my brother in law & sister in law are Rock of Love 2 fans too! They DVR it while they're at church!! I just find it too funny that the new Rock of Love 2 episodes are on during the time most people are at church.

I'm hooked. I like it. I even find myself thinking, ok, maybe Bret Michaels does have a little charm... and he is pretty cute... hang on a second! Stop it! Stop it Bret Michaels! Quit working your voodoo mojo on me!! Nah, I'm just kiddin' around. It's a great show for vegging out and watching people with problems way crazier than mine!

Spring Thoughts

2008-03-29T20:20:00.003-05:00

Most people love Spring. Most people see Spring as a time of new growth. New life. A new year.

Most people.

Spring is a very difficult time of year for me. March 22 was the due date of the child that Greg and I lost to miscarriage at 7 1/2 weeks. We lost the baby in August of 2006 due to a "missed miscarriage" .

This month, my daughter would've been 1 year old. I can't explain why I'm still having trouble with this. I am able to function everyday. I am able to love my son unconditionally, fully, and whole-heartedly as though I had given birth to him. But, a part of me still grieves the life we created and lost. The life I'll never meet face to face except in Heaven. I would never trade my son. I would never wish to have her instead of him. But, I do wish I could hold them both. I do wish I could have both of my children. I feel like I have one, but the other was taken from me. Part of me knew her even though we never met.

I hope this doesn't sound as though I haven't moved on. I also hope this doesn't sound like "poor me". But, I do hope this sounds like she was real. Because she was. She was a part of me and Greg. A life created and lost before having a chance to live it. Any time I hear of a woman going through miscarriage I feel so much for her. I know how she's feeling. I know it is an incredibly isolating feeling especially when talking to other women who have never had one, or who have never had any trouble getting pregnant.

I'll always wonder if I could've prevented it. I'll always wonder if my doctor knew there was something wrong when he scheduled the next sonogram 10 days later, even after hearing the heartbeat. I'll also always wonder why he told me the sex of the baby, when I never asked. In some ways, I wish I didn't know. In others, I'm glad I know. I'll always wonder about what could have been...

Most days are great days now. Most days I don't feel like I'm mourning. But, every once in a while, like today, like this time of year, I think of her a lot. I told Greg that today was a tough day and that I was going to blog about it. I like having my blog. Even if this is just for me, so be it. I feel better after writing. I feel like I've let go of a little. And, maybe just maybe, my words or experiences can be helpful to someone else.

Sunrise

2008-03-18T21:11:00.005-05:00

I've had a lot on my mind lately. I've been missing something. My spiritual life has literally been frozen in place, if not taken a few steps back. I find myself really wondering how this could be. I mean, God gave me the desire of my heart - to have a child. A wonderful, wonderful boy that has completely captured my heart. You'd think my faith would be at an all-time high, right?

It isn't. In fact, I think lately, my mentality has been that I don't need God. Things are going well. We aren't really struggling with anything. We have our son. Life is good. Yet, I find myself searching. Not feeling fulfilled. Why is that?

Tonight on my way home from work, I was out of music. I was bored with the Heart CD I've been repetitivly listening to. I often use my ride home as a time to think. A time to examine where I am. I reached into the console and found a Nichole Nordeman CD that I hadn't heard in a while. Part of me didn't want to listen to it. I didn't know if I was really ready for me and God to have a "sit down". Well, I heard the song "Sunrise" and it really spoke to me today. Here are the lyrics:

If I had the chance To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load Tell an easy story
I would walk away With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only
Every valley Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill And find that…

(Chorus)
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning If I knew not midnight?
You’re my horizon You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank you, thank you
That after the long night, you are sunrise

There’s a moment when Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone
But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us For every one of us

(Chorus)

You are sunrise
-Nichole Nordeman

I really didn't expect after my trial was over (the infertility and desire for a child) that I would feel distant from God. But I did. Part of it is because we quit going to church. We had a newborn baby and our pastor had been asked to resign. I think some of it too has been recognizing all of the unfairness in this world: Mothers dying before seeing their children grown, orphanages in which children are never held, people who never have one person in their lives tell them "I love you", and children that live in abusive homes who only grow up to repeat the pattern.

But tonight, on my way home, in the car, God and I connected again. I felt humbled - like going to an old friend I hadn't stayed in touch with. But in listening to this song, I realized that it's going to be ok. I'm back. God has given me a new sunrise. A new day to begin with Him. He has said, I was still there in the dark. But now it's morning and you can see me. Even in the dark, I knew he was there... he just felt so far away. It's weird how in the dark, in the midst of my trials, I felt like he was so far away. But even once the trials were over, if I wasn't seeking Him, I was still in the dark. I hadn't really stepped into the warm, welcoming rays of a new sunrise.

Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door will open. This is not just in the midst of the cold night. This is also in the unquenched thirst and heat of the day.

sick

2008-03-12T21:26:00.004-05:00

Yuck. Being sick is not fun. Nope, not fun at all. So, forgive me if my posts are short and lame (like this one).

What did you think of American Idol? Personally, I think David Hernandez had a better performance than Kristy Lee Cook's but, I do like Kristy Lee's country voice.

I was home sick today and I only watched 1 1/2 episodes of Rock of Love 2. I can't believe I'm admitting to that...

I'm ready for a vacation. Thankfully, we have one scheduled for the end of March!

Night Owl Scrapper

2008-03-10T21:24:00.005-05:00

The last 2 nights, I've been able to stay up to scrap after Gabe's gone to bed. Even though my scrapbooking area is right outside his bedroom door, I've been able to at least get one spread done each night without disturbing him. That's even with running the Cricut machine. By the way... if there are any scrappers out there reading this, you NEED a Cricut machine. I don't care if it puts you into credit card debt. You will use the heck out of the thing. I know I do. I use it on every single page. I have the Cricut Expression which allows you to use 12x12 paper. Love it.

I am now on month 8 of Gabe's scrapbooks - on my third album. That means, for his first year alone, I'll have 3-4 albums. I know that sounds crazy. But, this is my first child, I've waited a long time for this wonderful little boy, and scrapping is my thing. (Although, recently blogging has become my thing!) I only hope if we have a second child I'm able to do the same. I also hope I'm able to take as many pictures! Sometimes I feel sorry for Gabe's future wife... she's going to be housing a lot of photos some day!

Some of my closest girlfriends and I are planning a weekend getaway for June. This weekend is filled with shopping, scrapping, and hanging out. I am so excited about it. I'm organizing the whole thing. My plan is to scrap most of the time. I want to do a little shopping, but my main goal is to get up to date on Gabe's albums so I can scrap a little every other night or so as he goes to bed. So far, it's working out to do one spread and then I have a little time to blog and a little time to spend with Greg. It'd be really nice to be caught up, but this night owl may be dreaming.

This blog is probably really boring to any male readers out there, but I know my sister scrappers are right there with me... they know what I'm talking about!

STOP

2008-03-09T21:37:00.004-05:00

Ok, I think today I hit bottom. I've known for a couple of days that I'm getting really worn out. With Greg travelling so much and with him being sick the last few days, I've had to take up the slack. Gabe was up last night for 2 hours. The night before, I got to bed at 2:00 am after going to the ER and got up at 6:45 with Gabe. So, today... I was freakin beat. When Gabe took his morning nap, I took a nap too. Then, this afternoon, I watched several hours of, get this, Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels of the famous band, Poison. Ok. Seriously. How worn out, tired, bored, and pathetic do you have to be to watch more than 5 minutes of that show?? I found myself getting into it, thinking, "No, don't get rid of Inna, your Ukrainian Love Tank"! Really?? I'm pathetic.

I think sometimes though, you need a stupid (and I mean, stupid), trashy, unrealistic reality show, or trashy romance novel, or something just to let your mind and body relax. I think that's why shows like that exist! Who would really add that to their Tivo list? I actually make it a point of not watching reality shows, because I don't want to get hooked on them. I think they're ridiculous. The shows are so obviously staged and some of those people that stay on and aren't "voted off" or "given a rose" or "given a backstage pass to stay in the house and continue to rock Bret Michael's world"are so obviously kept on for wow factor. In the episodes I saw today, Bret took his dates to a burlesque club, a lingerie shop, a 50's pin-up photo shoot, oh, and one girl actually cooked for him on the date she won.

Bret, I don't care if every rose HAD it's thorn (Had as in your glory days are way over!), you could not pay me enough money to play mud football, build you a chopper, clean your chopper in a bikini (if I was thin enough to wear one), or parade around you with fake boobs, lips, and eyelashes. IF I was thin enough.

But, as much as I think the show stinks, it did serve it's purpose for me today... I got to relax, take my mind off stuff, and veg out. Thank you Bret Michaels! You rocked my world.

Hello, My Name is Ima

2008-03-08T00:56:00.003-06:00

As in Ima big fat jerk.

Greg had a cold last week and he woke up this morning feeling really really crappy. A co-worker suggested he go to the doctor today. When he told me he was going, I bawked at the idea and basically told him "Seriously? It's just a cold!". I really didn't want him to be sick. Things have been pretty overwhelming for me with him travelling on business a lot this year. So, I was really looking forward to some scrapping time this weekend - an hour or two here and there just for a little break, a little free time - before he leaves again Monday.

The doctor diagnosed him with influenza. Still it wasn't THAT serious to me. I mean, the flu. Suck it up. It can't be that bad. So, after Gabe went to bed tonight, I went upstairs and scrapped for about an hour and a half. When I came downstairs to tell Greg goodnight and to apologize by seeing if he was doing ok and if he needed anything, we found that he had a temperature of 105.4! Cue Ima...

So, I called my sister, the nurse, and she said to get him to the ER right away. So I'm freaking out. I'm thinking, "oh my gosh, my poor husband, and it's all my freaking fault!" I was crying and apologizing and crying some more. We called Tami and she stayed at our house (she's the best - she cleaned, she did dishes, she moved my hamper... teehehhe!!! I love ya Tamila!) Turns out, Greg does have influenza and there's not much the doctor could suggest to do for it. He did say it sounds like I have some of the symptoms though (backache, headache, etc...). I guess I probably deserve it.

Ugh. Next time Greg gets sick, I think I'll listen to him. I think this was one of those lessons... the ones that really suck and make you feel like crap, but ultimately, they change the way you think forever! I love you honey... can I make you some chicken noodle soup?

About Me

2008-03-07T13:22:00.004-06:00

I am Greg's wife and Gabe's Mom, Bri. I have another blog, Gabe's Mom, in which I talk about my life as Gabe's Mommy. I thought since I'm enjoying this blog thing so much, that I'd have a blog dedicated to me! To my everyday life - as a mother, as a wife, a scrapbooker, photographer, etc... (things I may not always want to put on Gabe's blog - a "Debbie Downer" day or a day where I just need to vent!) So, here it is!

Thought I'd start out by providing a few things I love vs. a few things I really, really don't like:

LOVE:

Family time - with my guys, my immediate family, & my in laws
Reading - this is very relaxing for me - mostly books by Jodi Picoult, Barbara Delinsky, Nicholas Sparks, etc...
Music - have to have it in the car - I'm old school. I don't buy music off of iTunes. There's something about having the CD case.
People who love their kids and can say 'No' when they need to
Hymns with altered arrangements
Longaberger baskets - I know... pyramid company, but there's nothing like a new Longaberger basket smell, the wonderful liners, the new Wishlists that arrive in the mail...
The sandwich maker. Awesome.
Infomercials - only for kitchen appliances and scrapbooking stuff.
My Cricut machine.
The smell of a baby right after a bath and pj's.
The sound of Gabe's laugh.
The smell of Greg's colognes (Obsession, Dolce & Gabbana, & Drakar Noir)
Planning - parties, showers, get togethers, meals, etc...
Lists (hence the bullet list here)
Ikea, Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, Archivers, Hobby Lobby

HATE (or Strongly Dislike, I'm not really a hater):

Uptalkers - C'mon. Seriously. Does everything need to be a question?
Closetalkers - I need my freakin' space.
Getting a phone call to let me know that you have just sent me an email.
Unflushed toilets
Lights left on
Washing bottles - Ugh
Sci-Fi/Fantasy Stuff - Sorry, it bores me.
Clothes shopping
Sunburns
Beets, squash, & pears

Random Things:

I love to sing
I have one tattoo
I went to school to study audiology, but now work in accounting
I am the oldest of 4 kids
I love the shows House, Grey's Anatomy, Designed to Sell, 20/20, & Dateline
I have an obsession with changing my blog design

Well, that's all you get for one day. Wanted to give you a glimpse of me before I started talking about my day to day issues! Happy Friday!